What Will Your Children Inherit?

Leaving More Than Money: Preparing the Next Generation for a Lasting Inheritance

Katie Brubaker: Welcome back to the Smarter Generosity podcast. I’m Katie Brubaker.

Eric Fleshood: And I’m Eric Fleshood.

Katie: Families often spend a lot of time thinking about what they’ll leave to the next generation. But how should a believer think about inheritance? And how do we prepare our children and grandchildren for what we pass along to them?

Eric: What a great question. And it’s so important.

In our work with ministry partners at Cru, this is one of the questions we hear most often. People are wondering how to make sure the things they value are passed along to their children and grandchildren.

And I think we all get uncomfortable when we see situations where that hasn’t gone well, where children or grandchildren inherit significant resources but struggle with what to do with them.

Katie: I think we’ve all either experienced or heard stories like that. Most of us can think of someone, whether in our own family or another family we know, where an inheritance didn’t turn out the way everyone hoped.

Eric: Exactly. So the question becomes, what can we do practically? What framework, habits, and mindset should we develop if we want to approach inheritance faithfully before the Lord?

Katie: Let’s start with the biblical concept of inheritance.

I’ve heard it discussed in several different ways. Eric, help us understand what Scripture teaches about inheritance.

Eric: One of the foundational passages people often turn to is Proverbs 13:22:

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

What’s important to notice is that it says children’s children.

There’s a multigenerational perspective here.

It’s one thing to think about what you’re going to leave your children. When we talk about inheritance, we naturally think about material possessions, bank accounts, wealth, land, and other assets.

But when you begin thinking about leaving an inheritance that extends to your grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and perhaps generations you’ll never meet, different questions arise.

You realize that simply handing over the assets isn’t enough.

If those resources are going to continue benefiting future generations, there has to be teaching and preparation involved.

The person you’re handing them to needs to be equipped to pass them along responsibly to the next generation.

Think about 2 Timothy 2:2.

Paul tells Timothy to entrust what he’s learned to reliable people who will also be able to teach others.

We often use that verse when talking about ministry, evangelism, and discipleship. But I think there’s a principle there that applies to inheritance as well.

In that one passage, you see four generations represented.

Paul is passing something to Timothy, who is instructed to entrust it to reliable people, who will then teach others.

That raises an important question for us.

How do we prepare our children to do more than simply receive material possessions?

How do we help them become people who can steward those resources faithfully and eventually pass along what they’ve received?

Katie: That makes me think about how easily we can bring our Western cultural assumptions into the conversation.

When we hear the word inheritance, we tend to think primarily about money and material possessions.

And in the United States, I think our default assumption is often that whatever the parents leave behind will be divided equally among their children.

Even if we never say that explicitly, there’s a cultural expectation that this is how inheritance works.

Eric: There absolutely is.

And even when people begin thinking multigenerationally, they may assume that the answer is simply to accumulate more wealth so there’s enough to last.

But we’ve seen examples of families where substantial wealth is passed down and doesn’t survive the next generation.

And even when the wealth does continue, it doesn’t necessarily mean the family is flourishing.

There can be damaged relationships, unhealthy attitudes toward work, and spiritual struggles.

So material wealth clearly isn’t the whole answer. It may not even be the most important part.

Katie: When Proverbs talks about leaving an inheritance to your children’s children, do you think it’s referring primarily to material wealth?

Or is there also a spiritual inheritance involved?

How should we understand that?

Eric: I do think the passage includes material inheritance.

But by giving us a multigenerational perspective, Scripture invites us to ask a deeper question.

What will it take for that inheritance to be passed from one generation to another in a way that produces something good?

How do we keep it from being wasted or creating dysfunction?

How do we move from an inheritance that potentially creates problems to one that contributes to flourishing?

That’s where preparation becomes so important.

Katie: And that connects with one of the biggest questions we hear from donors.

People want to know the magic number.

How much should I leave my children? How much should I leave my grandchildren?

What’s the right amount?

And beyond the amount, what else should I be thinking about as I prepare to pass resources to future generations?

Eric: It’s difficult to answer that question with a number without first asking another question.

How much are your children prepared to handle responsibly?

Have you prepared them to manage a million dollars?

Have you prepared them to manage ten million dollars?

If you haven’t, then perhaps that helps answer the question of how much you should leave them.

A large inheritance could become a burden rather than a blessing if someone isn’t equipped to handle it.

Think about it like lifting weights.

How much weight can you give someone before it overwhelms them?

If someone has trained and developed the ability to bench press 200 pounds, that might be an appropriate amount of weight for them.

But if they haven’t developed that capacity, asking them to lift it could actually hurt them.

I think there’s a similar principle involved in preparing someone to receive an inheritance.

Katie: And it doesn’t necessarily take ten million dollars to overwhelm someone.

Even a hundred thousand dollars could create difficulties for someone who isn’t prepared to manage it.

There’s another part of this conversation that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, particularly when it comes to our cultural assumptions about inheritance.

It’s the idea of equality and fairness.

A lot of families feel that they need to leave the same amount to every child because that’s how they demonstrate equal love.

But I think there’s a distinction worth exploring between treating people equally and making thoughtful decisions about what’s appropriate for each person.

Eric: There’s certainly nothing wrong with fairness or equality.

But I think what you’re identifying is that our culture has established certain norms and expectations around these decisions.

And those cultural expectations aren’t necessarily the highest priorities Scripture gives us.

So we need to ask ourselves whether we’re making decisions simply because they’re culturally expected or because we’ve prayerfully considered what the Lord is calling us to do in our particular circumstances.

Katie: So let’s move into the practical side of this.

If we’re thinking about passing resources to the next generation, how do we prepare those future stewards?

What can parents and grandparents actually do?

Eric: If I could emphasize one thing, it would be this: In our culture, giving often happens behind the scenes.

Think about a typical church service.

At my church, which I love, we have a time when the offering plate is passed.

But very few people are actually putting anything in the plate.

That’s not because they’re ungenerous. It’s because many people give online or make larger contributions at other times during the year.

But think about what children are observing.

They’re sitting in church, watching an offering plate being passed, and they don’t necessarily see anyone giving.

There’s very little visible evidence of generosity taking place.

And in American Christian culture, we’ve developed this idea that giving should always be private.

We sometimes feel that talking about our giving is inappropriate.

Katie: Well, Jesus does say that your left hand shouldn’t know what your right hand is doing.

Eric: That’s right. You’re referring to Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount.

But let’s think about why He says that.

And then let’s compare it with what Paul does in 2 Corinthians 8 and 9.

Paul is organizing a collection for believers in Jerusalem, and he speaks openly about the generosity of the Macedonian churches.

He’s encouraging other believers through their example.

So in one place, Jesus teaches about giving privately, while elsewhere Scripture shows giving being discussed and encouraged publicly.

How do we understand that?

Our friend Dr. Russell James has helped us think through this distinction, and I want to give him credit for drawing attention to it.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is addressing the giving of alms, which involves helping people in need.

Think about someone who is poor, sick, or experiencing difficult circumstances and needs assistance.

If someone comes along with great fanfare, announcing how generous they’re being toward that person, it can become humiliating.

It draws attention to the giver and potentially compromises the dignity of the person receiving help.

Jesus warns against that kind of self-promoting generosity.

There’s a different emphasis in passages like 2 Corinthians 8 and 9, where Paul discusses sharing resources within the body of Christ.

In that context, generosity becomes something that can be encouraged, modeled, and celebrated within the community.

Katie: Right. It encourages other people to participate.

And I think it’s worth mentioning that Dr. James has studied the original Greek language used in these passages.

That distinction between almsgiving and sharing resources within the Christian community was really helpful for me.

We often use the same English word, generosity, to describe several different kinds of giving.

But understanding the language and context of these passages helps us see that Scripture is addressing different situations.

Eric: Exactly.

And I think that’s important because sometimes we’ve become so concerned about keeping generosity private that we’ve made it difficult for the next generation to learn from what we’re doing.

So let’s bring this back to the family.

Do your children actually know about your generosity?

Do they know why you give, where you give, and how you make those decisions?

Or is everything happening privately, without any conversation?

That could be a very simple place to begin.

You might explain to your children, “Here’s why your mother and I value hospitality. Here’s why we enjoy inviting people into our home, sharing meals, and being generous with what we have.”

Or perhaps you’d say, “We’ve decided to set aside a certain portion of our resources for giving, and here’s why we do that.”

Maybe you’re a business owner.

You believe that God ultimately owns your business and that you’re responsible for stewarding it.

But do your children know that?

Have you talked with them about how that belief affects the way you operate the business?

They may see certain decisions you make, but they don’t necessarily understand the reasons behind them.

Sometimes we need to connect those dots for them.

Katie: I think those direct conversations are incredibly important.

They open the door to deeper discussions with our children and grandchildren about generosity, stewardship, and inheritance.

They help establish that foundational understanding that God is the owner and we’re stewards of what He’s entrusted to us.

Eric: That’s right.

The Lord has blessed my wife and me with five children, and we certainly didn’t do everything perfectly.

But one thing we learned along the way is that the earlier you begin teaching your children something, the more opportunities you have for those lessons to become part of their lives.

Starting early and returning to these conversations regularly can make a real difference.

That’s part of what discipleship looks like within the family.

Katie: There are so many parenting books that talk about the difference between what’s caught and what’s taught.

I think generosity is one of those areas where it’s both.

Children need to hear the conversations, but they also need to observe how generosity is practiced in everyday family life.

Eric: Absolutely.

And what’s interesting is that many of the things children observe about generosity don’t involve money at all.

For example, are you generous with your time when it comes to your children?

Are you generous with encouragement and praise?

Do you notice when they’re doing something good and acknowledge it?

When they come to you at inconvenient times, is your response marked by generosity or impatience?

Those things communicate something about the kind of person you’re becoming.

And when you make mistakes, do your children see you asking for forgiveness?

I know our topic today isn’t forgiveness, but think about the connection.

Because of the gospel, we’ve received forgiveness through Christ.

We’ve been given these incredible spiritual riches.

And out of what we’ve received, we can extend humility and grace toward others.

That includes being able to look at your child and say, “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”

There’s a powerful lesson about generosity in that kind of interaction.

And children learn those lessons by watching us.

Katie: That’s such a good point.

What about inviting the next generation to actually participate in giving?

Are there age-appropriate ways parents and grandparents can help children practice generosity?

Maybe it’s something as simple as participating in the offering at church.

But if a family wants to begin making generosity more tangible for their children or grandchildren, what might that look like?

Eric: I’ve learned so much from the families we work with at Cru.

I see examples of generosity in their lives that continue to teach and challenge me.

One practice I’ve seen is families gathering at the end of the year to talk about their charitable giving.

They sit down with their children and discuss which organizations or ministries they want to support, how much they want to give, and why.

They pray together.

They talk together.

They look at Scripture together.

And the children get a front-row seat to how their parents approach those decisions.

I love that practice.

I think it fits beautifully with Advent and the spirit of the Christmas season.

And it’s something families can begin doing with children at almost any age, adjusting the conversation to their level of understanding.

Katie: That’s a wonderful idea.

I can also see how this connects with broader conversations about legacy and inheritance.

When families begin talking about estate planning, that creates another opportunity to clarify family values.

It’s a chance to explain the purpose behind the decisions being made rather than simply communicating who is going to receive what.

Eric: That’s exactly right.

And it brings us back to something you mentioned at the beginning.

Our culture creates certain expectations about inheritance.

Children often grow up assuming that Mom and Dad will leave everything to them, probably divided equally among the siblings.

That’s simply what they’ve come to expect.

And when something different happens, they may not know how to understand it.

What I’ve observed among some of the thoughtful families we work with is that they’re intentionally helping their children develop a different understanding.

They’re resetting expectations.

And I think the earlier those conversations happen, the better.

It’s easier to begin explaining these things when children are six, seven, or eight years old than to introduce a completely different expectation to a 35-year-old adult who may already have made financial decisions based on an anticipated inheritance.

If you’re thinking differently about what you want to leave your children, help them understand why.

Talk about what’s really important.

Help them understand the values that are guiding your decisions.

And beyond all these practical things, I think we need to return to our North Star.

Scripture repeatedly describes God’s people as pilgrims and sojourners.

We’re living temporarily in a world that isn’t our ultimate home.

We’re moving toward an eternal inheritance.

Listen to what Paul says in Ephesians 1.

In verse 11, he writes that in Christ we have obtained an inheritance.

And later in the same chapter, he speaks of the riches of God’s glorious inheritance in the saints.

So Paul brings up inheritance more than once, and he’s pointing us toward something much greater than material wealth.

God Himself is our ultimate treasure.

And we have the promise of an eternal inheritance in Christ.

That’s what we need to remember as we think about the things we’re passing along.

Are we teaching our children to live for the here and now?

Are we modeling the belief that material possessions are what ultimately provide peace, security, satisfaction, and hope?

Or are we pointing them toward the eternal inheritance that cannot fade, spoil, or be taken away?

That’s the bigger picture.

Katie: That’s so good, Eric.

I’ve been taking notes, and I want to summarize a few of the practical ideas you’ve shared.

First, let children and grandchildren actually see generosity being practiced.

Second, tell the stories behind your giving decisions. Don’t just explain how much you’re giving or where it’s going. Help them understand why.

Third, invite the next generation to participate in generosity in ways that are appropriate for their age.

And fourth, use legacy and estate planning conversations as opportunities to clarify family values and purpose.

Eric: Yes, and I’d add one more.

Reset expectations where appropriate.

Katie: As early as possible.

Eric: Exactly.

Katie: That leads me to my final question.

Where can a family begin?

If someone listening realizes they’ve never really talked openly about generosity with their children or grandchildren, but they’d like to begin, what’s a simple first step?

Eric: I think it could be as simple as a conversation around the dinner table.

Maybe you’re having dinner together or spending your regular family time together, and Mom and Dad decide to take five minutes to talk about something important.

Or maybe it’s on the drive home from church.

You could say, “Hey, kids, did you notice what happened during the offering today?”

“Your mom and I have been thinking about that, and we wondered whether you had any questions about why giving is part of our worship.”

Those are simple conversations.

They don’t require a complicated plan or special event.

They’re things you could begin doing with your family next week.

Katie: Thank you, Eric.

I really appreciate your time and wisdom on this topic.

My own family is working through some of these conversations, both with our children and with my parents as we think about estate planning and inheritance.

So I know how relevant these questions can be.

Thank you for helping us explore them, and I look forward to our next conversation.

Eric: I look forward to it too, Katie. Thanks.

Katie: Thanks, Eric. Bye.

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This transcript has been edited for clarity and readability. Verbal fillers, repeated phrases, and recording interruptions have been removed.

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